Editor's Note: It's A Man's World featuring
independent male bloggers is intended to go inside the minds of single men and
give their unfiltered perspectives on dating and relationships. The views and
opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not
reflect those of ESSENCE or ESSENCE.com. Check out the latest post from writer and blogger Michael Arceneaux.
Four years ago I admitted what I assumed was the obvious to many: I was gay and no matter how pretty a female was I couldn't do anything with her besides ask evasive questions about her brother.
After telling my friends, I got a mixture of responses. Some said that information was about as common knowledge as the days of the week while others expressed shock. Those sorts of replies were to be expected. What I didn't see coming was the influx of attention I got from women.
By attention, I mean some women offering backhanded compliments like I'm "too cute to be gay." Attempting to convince me that I'm not "really gay," I just haven't met the "right one." Or as some women have bluntly put it, haven't looked "down there" long enough. Needless to say, the song "I'd Rather Go Blind" starts to play in my head soon after.
Considering I didn't have much success in dating women I thought this turn of events was God's little joke on me. But after speaking to other gay men I've noticed there are some women who indeed think they can turn a gay man out. A certain type of gay man anyway.
You know, any man that doesn't fall in line with the effeminate gay male stereotype. If a gay man seems to possess some of the mannerisms and behavior of heterosexual i.e. "normal" men some women feel there's a glimmer of hope that they can bring them home. That makes about as much sense as a woman finding her soul mate at a Beyonce concert.
As recently as two weeks ago I went out with a friend at a party and I can see a woman whispering to my friend and pointing at me. My friend then comes to tell me she was interested in me, but she told her I was gay. Perhaps she was drunk and channeled her inner Helen Keller but minutes later she came down at sat by me, did that little drunk yet available smirk some people do then tried to dance with me.
I dance with women all the time at "regular" establishments, but after seeing my dance for a while...yeah, they get it. Not this one. She ultimately started unbuttoning my shirt. Seriously?
I told another female friend about this and she said, "You're hot... but not that hot."
Given my single status who am I to disagree?
I can understand how some women can still be wrongly fooled by deeply closeted gay men. But if a man tells you upfront that he can quote the opening line to "Big Momma Thang" on command why on Earth would you still try it?
Just because his wrist doesn't fall to the floor when he walks and talks doesn't mean there's a chance you can grab his attention.
Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated
freelance writer based in Los Angeles. Read more of his work at http://thecynicalones.com.
Okay, good for you! Would you like a award or somthing..?."I dance with women all the time at "regular" establishments, but after seeing my dance for a while...yeah, they get it. Not this one. She ultimately started unbuttoning my shirt. Seriously?
I told another female friend about this and she said, "You're hot... but not that hot."
After seeing your dance they get it??! Get what? Okay!
LMBAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YAY! She unbuttoned your shirt isn't that neato did she pull your chest hair too oh nevermind, you don't ...forget it...LMAO